Today is my anniversary. One special day for me and my wife. Well for her I just sent Ten (10) Gerberas, or African Daisies, in this lovely round Hand Bouquet. Include a big box of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates (T24 300g). Complete with statice, peacocks, other fillers , papers, & ribbons to her at her office. A small favour (with money of coz) from blooming do help a lot. I think she’s not that surprise to receive that flowers (she keeps on guessing and sometimes her guess right on the spot. But I learnt to brush off her questions and keep my mouth shut this time.). Well my love, you really deserved it and I still believe there’re no flowers in this world that really enough to say how much I love you and my appreciation on what you’ve given to me. A small surprises besides the XOXO and Guess handbags. Well perhaps both of us will have some nice dinner either at gazeebo or at Sri Hartamas. . Hopefully both of us will stay together for the rest of our life. Insya Allah

To be honest I knew her couple of years back in one of the IRC chatrooms (yeah i know her from there allrite). She told me that her name is Linda (LoL) and she’s a single mother who’s raising her daughter single handedly. We exchange phone numbers and I did promise to give her a call (which i didnt) and it was her who make the first call. If I’m not mistaken she’s waiting for her “friend” to fetch her at Putra LRT station. Oh btw at that time I still working at Unikop College at Batu Caves. After that call there were quite some gap before he 2nd call. Actually I dun mind that much as I thought perhaps she just need somebody to talk and hey at that time having a relation with a single mother never come across my mind at all. In fact even at that moment I have this so-called relation with this singaporean gurl (Enjoy at the beginning but everything feels like dull and DUH at the end).
I actually met her face to face at Desa pandan near McDonald there around 11pm to 12am. Not quite remember lah.. Hmm frankly speaking I treat her as a friend so at that meeting no cover-cover punya. First time in my life I’m enjoying being myself talking with stranger.

Hahaha, I’m not going to type every details here. Damn I’m not a writer btw. Frankly initially I have other purpose of knowing her (:P). So I have to pretend to listening to all her problems . But later on after listening all her probs, all the abuse she received from her */-$#%@ husband, I feel something else. There’s a voice from deep inside of me keeps telling me that it’s my obligation to help her. Sometimes I even feel ashame of being a man when listening to her stories. Damn I never knew there’s such a @#$#%$ man like her husband. But who am I to interfere their marriage? I just give some advice to her and atleast being there when she needs somebody to talk. I dun want ppl to call me the third person in her marriage. Not nice maa.. I dun want ppl to interfere my marriage also. Actually there’re lots of other thing that she told me, some makes me surprise and some makes me regret of not helping her at first and some makes me feel guilty of having bad thoughts towards her at first place. Knowing her rellay open my mind and view on single mother and of cause mother. How they struggle to raise their children without the help of their husband (her #%$@^#% husband just visit her 5 mins at the hosp when she delivered their baby)

How I fell in love with her? Well the impossible thing become possible and all I could say is only Allah knows why I fell in love with her. I can’t explain it here. Mixed emotions. It’s not that difficult and it’s not that simple. I really grateful for her family to accept me as one of their family members. I still remember the moment of truth when I told my father that I want to marry nizza. Me and abah went out to so-called petrol station and I told him everything. I’d expect some objections from him and from mak but to my surprise, he took it very calmly and gave me few good advice. Even after abah told mak about my choice, she immediately ask me to arrange a meeting with nizza on the next day at DaveDeli, Carrfour, wangsa maju (Do u still remember it dear?) The event run smoothly, I really love my parents. Then the sequence of event really make me believe that nizza is really for me. Starting from bertunang till we getting married on 30th May 2004. Actually it shud be on august but her father Allahyarham Ismail Bin Che Ramli passed away on 6th April 2004 that really shocks me. But I was inform that he passed away in his sleep and peacefully. Alhamdulillah.

Now 19 April 2005, another approx 1 month we will celebrating our 1st anniversary with a fourth member in the family. Nur Iman Nadhirah Binti Muhamad Hazrul was born on 11th March 2005 at 9.41 am, weight 3.3kg at Pantai Medical Centre, Cheras. I’m so happy and glad that Nisha (my wife’s daughter) accept Iman as her lil sister. I have many special moments with Nisha which I will post sometime in the future but the most memorable one is when she called me “papa” for the first time (my eyes was filled with tears when hearing that). I would like to take this opportunity to thank my wife for Nur Iman, for the pain, the patience, the inspirations, the emotions, love, caring and lots more that I think the whole space in this server cannot store

If I were given a chance to start my life all over again, I will only looking for Shahniza Ismail to be my wife, my friend, my soulmate and definitely.. My Love.

How to raise u children eh? What are the criteria taken into consideration? Parenting books? Let my wife read it (she did not btw). The only model or example that I can look upon is my parent and definitely my father. He is my idol, my inspiration, my role model, my everything. He’s a strict person, very conservative in certain matters but surprisingly very open minded(as later I discovered). He emphasis on manners, religion and dicipline as the most important things in life. Respect the elders (where I found out very handy during my mckk years) in terms of language used, tone, eye contact, etc. Dicipline is important in every aspect in life. Most of the successful people shares one common trait between them; Dicipline. I kinda lack of it (admit la) and see what happen to me. Well so far my brothers and sister successfully pursuing what they’ve dream of and they kinda better in this aspect than me. I prefer to do things my way.

I’m kinda strict with my children (of cause to Nisha lah. Iman only 2 months plus). Well she was raised by her ma tok (my wife’s mother) so sort of spoilt. Hmm btw there’re issues that I think I dun have to post it here. To sum things up is that I dun want Nisha to be influenced by negative things. So far it seems like those negative elements had penetrated her and there’re some traits that I really dun like. Perhaps that I’m too conservative but there are things that I can’t tolerate. Manners, Religion, Dicipline ( Now I do sound like my father)

Being a father makes me realize and understand most of the things that my father tought us and the reasons why he done something that I felt at that time kinda illogical towards his children. I’m still in learning process, apprentice. Now I know laa abah and perhaps someday I manage to look in this matter from his eyes and tell my children “One day you will understand”

Just bought Victoria’s Secret “Secret Crush” body splash for my beloved wife. At first I thought I want to keep it secret from her till our anniversary at the end of this month. But dang, even though my work revolves around secrecy and confidentiality, my itchy fingers can’t stop SMSing her. Btw I still have few things in my mind to surprise her on our anniversary day. Hehehe let her have this false sense of confident of what to expect for her present

Have to keep on reminding myself to stop giving her clues. She’s very good at digging secrets eh. Hmm now need to buy some masking tape…

Ahh, this coming month (aprox. another 3 weeks!) I have to sit for RHCE certification exam. Done some googling and discovered that the review of this certification is not that convincing. I dun mean that it’s not a good cert but the exam is damn difficult. To add pressure to this small head is that no matter whether I pass or not, I will be bonded to the company for 1 year. So better to get the cert then bonded for 1 year instead of stuck with this company for nothing. Last saturday I’ve successfully printed 147 pages RHCE study guide + written exam guide for my reference. Thankfully there’s still enuff paper left in the printer tray for other to use hehehehe. Hmm I just dun know how am I gonna face this exam. I took my last exam for Malaysian Taxation paper (ICSA) around 1998. Hehehe but then I have no other worries besides my exam subjects. Now? Lol, too many things in my mind and requires my attention. My work, my wife, my family, the bills, car, house etc. and now plus one more, RHCE. Heheheeh. Like it or not, I have to recall back my last-minute-study self and do some hands on practice ( Sorry my dear but it seems we have to sacrifice the compaq for my RHCE)

Being a father is not an easy task. But if you have a step daughter and a daughter, it is one hell challenging task physically and emotionally. I thought I’ve prepared to be a father as when I married to my wife, not only just being her husband but also the father of her daughter. At that moment everything went just fine. Just let the child takes her time to know me, comfortable to have me around and then everything is OK. Btw I do love this child as she doesnt get the love of her real irresponsible father and I know and admit that the love that I give to her will not be the same as the real father. That is a fact.
But when Nur Iman was born last March, it’s kinda difficult for me to balance my feeling towards my step daughter and my daughter. Sometimes I do hate to have this kind of feelings and trust me, I really want to give all my love to both of them equally and without prejudice. Easy said than done eh? Well there’s no try and error here. Any wrong judgement from my side will have a big impact on their future, and there will be no Donald Trump to fire me or there is no such thing as re install option in this matter.

Thankfully I have a wife who keeps on reminding me on my responsibilities toward my family especially towards my children (plus her needs of shopping ). Check and balance eh So far everything is running smoothly and I thank God for that.

Old or young? Jeez. One more year and I’m gonna reach that magic number. Three zero. hehehehe. Well this morning jaja did ask me how do I feel to be in the end of my 20s. To be honest there’s nothing different. Everything is the same. I still wake up in the morning, wait till my wife finish wear her clothes and make up, then took both of my daughters, Iman and Nisha to the babysitter, then straight to Putrajaya while bitching about the traffic, the road hoggers, and of cause hearing my wife mumbling about the parking space and the famous bad traffic at the Sunway bridge. (I almost forgot about my birthday today till my wife gave one nice morning kiss for my birthday gift)

So is there any different with my other days? Nahh.. Only I ate a lot today. Perhaps due to my last nite activities LoL.. I dun have to elaborate here. Besides my wife keeps on teasing me how old I am compared to her, everything seems to be normal. So there’s nothing to be shout about, age is only a number that indicates that how long we’ve been on this planet rite? No big deal.