Ayoi's
I dunno why on earth I have this blog.
Marriage…-For Fun…Part 2
Nov 2nd
Another one from email. LoL
Husband V/S Wife
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push…!!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice
Marriage… – For fun..
Nov 2nd
I get this from the email…
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 2.0, F1 3.0 and Internet 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Stella 6.1.
Please note that Stella 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support
Life…
Oct 29th
Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles.
Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them.
Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature.
Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know.
Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better.
Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life.
Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day.
Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems.
Why I fired My Secretary
Oct 26th
Why I fired my Secretary
>
>
>
> Last week was my birthday
> And I didn’t feel very well
> Waking up on that morning.
>
>
>
> I went downstairs for breakfast
> Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
> ‘Happy Birthday!’,
> And possibly have a small present for me.
>
> As it turned out,
> She barely said good morning,
> Let alone
> ‘ Happy B irthday.’
>
> I thought…
> Well,
> that’s marriage for you,
> But the kids….
> They will remember.
>
> My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
> And didn’t say a word..
> So when I left for the office,
> I felt pretty low
> And somewhat despondent.
>
>
> As I walked into
> my office,
> My secretary Jane said,
> ‘Good Morning Boss,
> And by the way
> Happy Birthday ! ‘
> It felt a little better
> That at least someone had remembered.
>
>
> I worked until one o’clock ,
> When Jane knocked on my door
> And said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day outside,
> And it is your Birthday,
> What do you say we go out to lunch,
> Just you and me.’
> I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
> that’s the greatest thing
> I’ve heard all day.
> Let’s go !’
>
> We went to lunch.
> But we didn’t go
> Where we normally would go.
> She chose instead a quiet bistro
> With a private table.
> We had two martinis each
> And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
>
> On the way back to the office,
> Jane said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day…
> We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
> Do We ?’
>
> I responded,
> ‘I guess not..
> What do you have in mind ?’
> She said,
> ‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
> it’s just around the corner.’
>
>
> After arriving at her apartment,
> Jane turned to me and said,
> ‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
> I’m going to step into the bedroom
> For just a moment.
> I’ll be right back.’
>
>
> ‘Ok.’ I nervously
> replied.
>
> She went into the bedroom and,
> After a couple of minutes,
> She came out
> Carrying a huge birthday cake …
> Followed
> By my wife,
> My kids,
> And dozens of my friends
> And co-workers,
> All singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
>
>
> And I just sat there…
>
>
>
>
> On the couch…
>
>
>
>
> Naked.
I got this from an email OK? It’s not my story. I dun have any secretary or SECRETary anyway. And my wife and kids do remember my birthday 
D-Day plus One
Oct 8th
Well actually D-Day plus One is yesterday. D-Day = the day that when we need to do all the things by ourselves as the maid decided to leave. As I am the one who volunteered to stay at home and take care all the kids while wifey fulfilling her appointments. I have to admit it’s quite awkward for me at first but as the day progressed, I’m getting used to all the house chores even though the house usually filled with shouting from me, the twins and of cause their usual victim, Iman.
Trials and Tribulations
Oct 8th
It seems that the last entry of this blog is on 17th August 2009, my twin’s 2nd birthday. To be honest, it’s not that I abandon this blog all together, I have few drafts that are still lacking the final touch (or the final words). Some of the drafts are interesting posts (at that time) which I think quite “basi” already for now. Some of those are lame postings which I rightly remove from the draft folder hehehe. Maybe I could inject some new elements on the “basi” ones..Maybe..
To be frank, overall I’m in the stage of overcoming some tests that the God has given to me. Some of the tests are quite challenging that I think without the support of my loved ones, I might suffer what I call mental break down. Some times I do feel like I want to scream at the top of my lung but after thinking about the consequence and the benefits of doing it, I’ve decided against doing that. Yeah I do feel that I’ve reached the limit many times.
Last two days, my maid decided to leave us. She just pack her things, leave the twins and then she left. Fortunately she still has the decency to sms wifey and asked her to come home as soon as possible because the twins were at home alone. So wifey called me, fetched me from the office, went back to the house and gladly and gratefully to see the twins happily playing within the house compound. Fortunately the neighbour’s maid was there to accompany them and it seems that Nisha also skipped her school. I take it as it’s another test for me and honestly this is the least challenging compared to others.
I know that this maid is going to leave us someday and to be honest I do not have the feeling to retain her as well especially after the case of Iman’s hand poured with hot boiled water. She told us that Iman was playing with the boiler but all the post incident events indicate that she was hiding something.
Nevermind… For all the things that happened to me and my family, I know that maybe in the future the God will reward us with something that beyond our imagination. Who knows rite
Friends Forever? Maybe…
Aug 5th
Just for fun OK? I hope that none of my friends or any of you have even the slightest intention to jump out of the window.. OK?
ADV: Difference Demonstrated – No More Scar…
Aug 4th
Oh yeah.. Back in May 2008, I had one minor surgery on my forehead to remove one small lump that will spurt blood on the slightest touch. Ok not spurting blood but it will bleed and took some time to stop. In fact there was one time that I’ve spent around 15 to 20 minutes in the toilet watching the blood dripping into the toilet bowl (OK I just wanna test how long it would take for the bleeding to stop). So I’ve decided for that lump to be surgically removed.
Before operation. Take note on the small "lump" above my left eyebrow
Of cause for every surgery will leave you one nice scar. For me as I had approx. 11 stitches on my forehead and at that time I do feel like Frankenstein. I have to admit that whenever I look at the mirror every morning either for brushing my teeth or trimming my beards, sometimes I did cover the surgery wound with my hand.
Immediately after the operation.. Still in "lalok" stage
Soon after the stitches were removed, it leaves one nice long trench on my forehead and I did notice that my eyebrows were not aligned to each other. My left eyebrow was lil bit higher than the right one (thank God that my eyes are still in its original place hehehe). Well it was lil bit awkward when the first thing that people that I met fixed their eyes on or asking was my scar.
“You had a fight kah?”
“You had a gang fight eh?”
“Your twins are soo naughty eh?”
“You just upgrade your memory?” -> one of my colleagues question..
But as the time passed by, I’m getting used to that kind of questions (minus the last one) as for me nothing will change lor and from time to time I just simply ignore the existence of that scar.
Until one fine day when wifey approach me and said,
“You already know that my stretch marks mostly gone rite?”
“Yeah.. It’s nice to actually feel that I’m touching the stomach instead of car tyre surface whenever I touch your stomach.”
“Good. Now lets try on your operation scar.”
“What? Later on lah.. I’m watching Sopranos now and I’ll do it later. Can?”
“Just sit quietly and let me do on your operation scar.”
“Later lah..”
“Quiet and watch your Sopranos.”
“Err OK”
And that’s the start of everything. My scar really lighten up and on the next time, it’s me who asking wifey,
“Where’s your machine eh? Err I want to do on my scar.”
And after few times this is the result.
Frankenstein
Lighten up lil bit
Better?
no comment
Cool eh?
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