As usual, from the email of cause..

Another one from email. LoL

Husband V/S Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I’d be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push…!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice

I get this from the email…

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 2.0, F1 3.0 and Internet 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Stella 6.1.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles.

Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them.

Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature.

Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better.

Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life.

Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day.

Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems.

(more…)

Why I fired my Secretary
>
>
>
> Last week was my birthday
> And I didn’t feel very well
> Waking up on that morning.
>
>
>
> I went downstairs for breakfast
> Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
> ‘Happy Birthday!’,
> And possibly have a small present for me.
>
> As it turned out,
> She barely said good morning,
> Let alone
> ‘ Happy B irthday.’
>
> I thought…
> Well,
> that’s marriage for you,
> But the kids….
> They will remember.
>
> My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
> And didn’t say a word..
> So when I left for the office,
> I felt pretty low
> And somewhat despondent.
>
>
> As I walked into
>  my office,
> My secretary Jane said,
> ‘Good Morning Boss,
> And by the way
> Happy Birthday ! ‘
> It felt a little better
> That at least someone had remembered.
>
>
> I worked until one o’clock ,
> When Jane knocked on my door
> And said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day outside,
> And it is your Birthday,
> What do you say we go out to lunch,
> Just you and me.’
> I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
> that’s the greatest thing
> I’ve heard all day.
> Let’s go !’
>
> We went to lunch.
> But we didn’t go
> Where we normally would go.
> She chose instead a quiet bistro
> With a private table.
> We had two martinis each
> And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
>
> On the way back to the office,
> Jane said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day…
> We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
> Do We ?’
>
> I responded,
> ‘I guess not..
> What do you have in mind ?’
> She said,
> ‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
> it’s just around the corner.’
>
>
> After arriving at her apartment,
> Jane turned to me and said,
> ‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
> I’m going to step into the bedroom
> For just a moment.
> I’ll be right back.’
>
>
> ‘Ok.’ I nervously
>  replied.
>
> She went into the bedroom and,
> After a couple of minutes,
> She came out
> Carrying a huge birthday cake …
> Followed
> By my wife,
> My kids,
> And dozens of my friends
> And co-workers,
> All singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
>
>
> And I just sat there…
>
>
>
>
> On the couch…
>
>
>
>
> Naked.

I got this from an email OK? It’s not my story. I dun have any secretary or SECRETary anyway. And my wife and kids do remember my birthday

Happy birthday to my twins. 2 Years old already eh

Just for fun OK? I hope that none of my friends or any of you have even the slightest intention to jump out of the window.. OK?

Sorry Folks…

On this day, I think maybe we should embrace and understand the real meaning of the song titled “Heal The World” sang by this wonderful, shocking, controversial entertainer who passed away today… (By the way this is one of my favourite songs)

“Heal The World”

There’s A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You’ll Find There’s No Need
To Cry
In This Place You’ll Feel
There’s No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place…

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There’s A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love’s Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World…

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It’s Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God’s Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We’ll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place…

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me…