img source: wearecentralpa.com

My email used to be bombarded with spam or phising emails either for Paypal, Maybank or CIMB and sometimes Amazon as well. Usually these emails are in the same format (sometimes even same wordings), same email subject and lil bit different header images and of cause different sender address. But today (the email actually received yesterday but I only open my trusted Thunderbird today) the content is lil bit different, convincing enough and yeah even the sender address seems like from legitimate source for the unsuspecting users.

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Pic source: kellepcharles.blogspot.com

Greeting guys..

I’ve spent the past two weeks getting the draft for forensic readiness policy complete for submission to our client in Indonesia. To be honest this time around I need to assist our sister company there in designing an SOC for that particular client. In sense of security policy, bulk of the task was done by my colleague there. She’s very good in integrating the client’s security policies into ours. I really impressed with her works tho ;)

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Hola, guess I owe few greetings though. So here it goes… Happy 2010, may this year become more prosperous compared to last year and of cause Happy Chinese New Year (Year of the tiger eh..)

For me personally, this year started well enough. I ended the January with 5 days at Jakarta assisting our sister company there on one project with one of the largest bank in Indonesia. That trip alone requires one entry as I had plenty of things that I’ve learned in that 5 days time.

The twins are getting naughtier, the eldest daughter is growing  and so does her sister which makes me start planning on future planning to monitor my daughters. Today’s Friday prayer sermon touch on Cyber Crimes and one of the points is the importance of knowing what your children are doing online. Well I’m not that worried on NOT knowing what they are doing online but more concern on mobile communication like sms, mms, and yeah I believe in the near future, soon Blackberry will be a norm. Cracking, Sniffing GSM or BlackBerry services seems not a bad idea though.. I should find a good way to include these devices in my monitoring system…

Currently I’m suffering from sunburn.. During last Chinese New Year holiday, we spent nearly one whole day at the beach (Balok Beach) and my children really enjoyed their time there.. So I am not that comfortable of meeting people now as I believe I do look like an alien…

Till next post then.. Have a nice weekend.. I will spend my weekend reviewing document though ;)

p/s: To wifey, Happy Birthday dear…

I guess I’ve left this blog unattended for quite some time eh? To be honest 2009 is not that good for me but still I’m grateful to be able to get through this year. Now I’m gearing up for 2010, so hopefully everything will change (for the good of cause).. ;)

As usual, from the email of cause..

questions-and-answers-thumb5665970

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!


Signboard outside a prostitute’s house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy…
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

Why is $ex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today… tomorrow you’ll  have to do it again…

Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.


Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between a PANTY & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY….. it is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later

Another one from email. LoL

14-expect-nothing-for-yourself

Husband V/S Wife


Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I’d be in your hands all day.



Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push…!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice

marriage-quotes

I get this from the email…

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 2.0, F1 3.0 and Internet 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Stella 6.1.

Please note that Stella 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

serene

Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles.

Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them.

Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature.

Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better.

Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life.

Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day.

Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems.

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embarrassed_chimpanzee

Why I fired my Secretary
>
>
>
> Last week was my birthday
> And I didn’t feel very well
> Waking up on that morning.
>
>
>
> I went downstairs for breakfast
> Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
> ‘Happy Birthday!’,
> And possibly have a small present for me.
>
> As it turned out,
> She barely said good morning,
> Let alone
> ‘ Happy B irthday.’
>
> I thought…
> Well,
> that’s marriage for you,
> But the kids….
> They will remember.
>
> My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
> And didn’t say a word..
> So when I left for the office,
> I felt pretty low
> And somewhat despondent.
>
>
> As I walked into
>  my office,
> My secretary Jane said,
> ‘Good Morning Boss,
> And by the way
> Happy Birthday ! ‘
> It felt a little better
> That at least someone had remembered.
>
>
> I worked until one o’clock ,
> When Jane knocked on my door
> And said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day outside,
> And it is your Birthday,
> What do you say we go out to lunch,
> Just you and me.’
> I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
> that’s the greatest thing
> I’ve heard all day.
> Let’s go !’
>
> We went to lunch.
> But we didn’t go
> Where we normally would go.
> She chose instead a quiet bistro
> With a private table.
> We had two martinis each
> And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
>
> On the way back to the office,
> Jane said, ‘You know,
> It’s such a beautiful day…
> We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
> Do We ?’
>
> I responded,
> ‘I guess not..
> What do you have in mind ?’
> She said,
> ‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
> it’s just around the corner.’
>
>
> After arriving at her apartment,
> Jane turned to me and said,
> ‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
> I’m going to step into the bedroom
> For just a moment.
> I’ll be right back.’
>
>
> ‘Ok.’ I nervously
>  replied.
>
> She went into the bedroom and,
> After a couple of minutes,
> She came out
> Carrying a huge birthday cake …
> Followed
> By my wife,
> My kids,
> And dozens of my friends
> And co-workers,
> All singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
>
>
> And I just sat there…
>
>
>
>
> On the couch…
>
>
>
>
> Naked.


I got this from an email OK? It’s not my story. I dun have any secretary or SECRETary anyway. And my wife and kids do remember my birthday ;)

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